Animal

Top Two Goose Movies

1. Winged Migrations (France, 2001)

Just the best goose footage. Lot’s of crazy inter-continental aerial stuff. If memory serves they hooked a camera up to a robot goose so you get some cool goose POV shots/real majestic goose portraits. I think it’s be great as a projected background during a dance party. The stoners on the couch would be super into it. Could also be cool edited into a video collage, like maybe weird goose establishing shots in a 100% recycled footage movie about factory workers in middle America. Maybe use it in a retelling of the golem legend from Hebrew folklore. Dunno how tenuously linked all these metaphors are, just spitballing here. Third way to use this movie: vicarious living out of deep-held wishes to be a goose.

2. Fly Away Home (USA, 1996)

The other good goose movie. Real sweet n’ tender family fare. Good for emotional catharsis and adorable gosling montages. It’s got Anna Paquin and Jeff Daniels (or maybe Jeff Bridges? I get those Jeffs mixed up) Anyway, remember this one? Doesn’t she build some kind of mechanical air ship in the third act? Weird that the two best goose movies also have to do with some elaborate goose tech.

Pretty sure these are the only good goose movies but I Googled it just to check. Here’re the results:

(Dis)honorable Mentions

A talking-goose melodrama with carnivorous Chevy Chase as the villain.

Rankin & Bass Mother Goose cartoon.

I guess there’s a new goose movie feat. the vocal talents of Jim Gaffigan (talk about zeitgeis huh?)

East German 60’s fairy tale flick(those can be fun)

More Mother Goose camp.

There’s a guy named Goose in Top Gun which I haven’t seen and, honestly, isn’t high on my watch list (I know, I know).

I guess a goose turns into a dude in the Kenneth Branagh Cinderella.

I can’t remember if there were any geese in the Duck Tales movie.

Pretty sure there aren’t any in this Yogi Bear movie despite the title.

So there you have it, pretty much just Winged Migrations. Happy watching Anatidae lovers!

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Der Rechte Weg

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Three starsTwo stars

First saw it at the Pompidou, Paris; abreast one of those dippy basketball fishtanks of Koon’s, my first lover by my side, drunk on my early 20’s and travel.

Later on, I “owned” it, as a file in a folder or deep in the folds of an internet I never bothered to comprehend, some proto-icloud; already two laptops back.

Most recently I identified it in a bar, San Fransisco, while a home-girl’s new guy bought more rounds and told tales of incalcuable violence.

I always liked it.  A bear and a rat climb the alps and look down at stewing banks of nimbus.  I am totes the bear.  Or maybe, the rat.

Zootopia

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Three stars

Cuddly, neo-noir, racism parable.  The mouse has still got it.  The other night I dreamt I met Jenny Slate who voices the sheep secretary.  We were on the freeways soft shoulder, it was insect buzzing dusk.  I asked her out for coffee and was honored she agreed.  I confessed I knew her over creamer, “from comedy” I said as women in mumus milled about sugar caddies.  She told me I was over-compensatingly macho in my compliments.  I’m sure that’s good advice.  Thanks Jenny!