Deadpool

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Two stars

 This is the movie the fan’s demanded Marvel make.  I like that the line is blurred between actor Ryan Reynolds and character Wade Wilson.  Other things I liked: the dated USSR giant metal X-man guy, the animation sequence featuring unicorns.  The plot is pretty boring and the jokes are kinda bad, not Robot Chicken bad, but close.  For those logging this kind of thing, Ryan Reynold’s dick makes an appearance.  He’s impaled on twisted rebar in a burning medical lab in the film’s big serious origin moment and boom, there it is, shrouded and murky behind smoke and flame, Reynold cock.  I dunno, it might just be CGI. 

D by: Tim Miller, W by: Rhett Reese & Paul Wernick, P by: Keng Seng, E by: Julian Clarke, A by: Delano Athias, Pyrokinesis, etc.., S by: Kayla Adams, Fraser Aitcheson, etc…, M by: Junkie XL, w/Ryan Reynolds, Morena Baccarin, Leslie Uggams, T.J. Miller, Brianna Hildebrand, Karan Soni, Stefan Kapicic, Stan Lee, etc…, 108 min, USA, 2016

 

The 5 Deadly Venoms

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Three stars

Tempura-paint blood and stipple sponge beards!  The plot concerns 5 & a half protégés of a Kung-fu master and their respective goals of protecting or conning an old man.  They search for buried treasure and shove sharp implements up nostrils.  They run up walls.  There’s some mystery about who the 3rd venom (Scorpion) is.  I liked the masks, they kinda reminded me of the indigenous art of the Eyak and Aleut peoples of Alaska/Kamchatka.  I had to look up those names though.

D & W by: Chang Cheh, More W: Kuang Ni, P by: Mu-To Kung & Hui-Chi Tsao, E by: Hsing-Lung Chiang, M by: Yung-Yu Chen, S by: Ting Liang, Feng Lu, & Chi-Hsien Tai, w/Sheng Chiang, Lung Tu, Lung Wei Wang, Feng Lu, Chien Sun, Pai Wei, Meng Lo, Phillip Kwok Chung-Fung, etc…, 97 min, Hong Kong, 1978

Escape From New York

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Three stars

New York’s skyscrapers like silent sentinels, it’s dark and cold in the valleys of abandoned progress.  You walk amongst this history and your footsteps echo off canyons of cement and you truly feel what it’s like to be Godforsaken.  I know this isn’t really the place to say it, but I’m deeply terrified of a Trump presidency.

D, W, & M by: John Carpenter, More W: Nick Castle, More M: Alan Howarth, P by: Dean Cundey, E by: Todd Ramsay, FX: Roy Arbogast, James Cameron, Brian Chin, Jenna Holman, etc…, S by: Buff Brady, Tony Brubaker, Glory Fioramanti, etc…, w/Kurt Russell, Isaac Hayes, Ernest Borgnine, Adrienne Barbeau, Harry Dean Stanton, Lee Van Cleef, Tom Atkins, Frank Doubleday, etc…, 99 min, USA, 1981