Uzumaki

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Two stars

Dad’s obsessed with spirals.  The camera spirals.  There’re spiral edits and other edits which call attention to themselves.  There’s a murky green filter over everything.  You wait a long time for people to turn into snail monsters.

D & E by: Akihiro Higuchi; W by: Kengo Kaji, Junji Ito, Takao Nitta, & Chika Yasuo; P by: Gen Kobayashi; M by: Tetsuo Kashibuchi & Keiichi Suzuki; w/Eriko Hatsune, Ren Ôsugi, Keiko Takahashi, Taro Suwa, Hinako Saeki, Fhi Fan, Sadao Abe,Masami Horiuchi, etc..90 min, Japan, 2000

We Are Still Here

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One star

Gore besmirched Dad and the half-forgotten smile; gazes love into the earthen cellar.  The grave of the son, the cave of the smoke monster.  Whiskey sodden eddies of snow.  Alcohol flirts with marijuana.  A dude eats some socks.  A staircase eats a dude.

D & W by: Ted Geoghegan, P by: Karim Hussain, E by: Aaron Crozier & Josh Ethier, M by: Wojciech Golczewski, w/Barbara Crampton, Monte Markham, Lisa Marie, Larry Fessenden, Andrew Sensenig, Susan Gibney, Kelsea Dakota, Elissa Dowling, 84 min, USA, 2015

The Brain

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Two stars

This is a great movie for 11 year olds.  Goopy alien monsters infest adults and the principal gets chewing gum on his butt.  A woman chainsaws her husband.  A toilet explodes.  It leans patriarchal and tries to make you think Ontario is America but just remember that Canada is awesome and your Mommy and Daddy love you however you are and you should have fun with some mild extraterrestrial bloodshed.

D by: Ed Hunt, W by: Barry Pearson, FX: Mark Williams, P by: Gilles Corbeil, M by: Paul Zaza, w/David Gale, Tom Bresnahan, George Buza, Cynthia Preston, Ken McGregor, Bernice Quiggan, Carol Lazare, Vinetta Strombergs, etc…, 94 min, Canada, 1988