Team America: World Police

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Four stars

Fuck the Arc de Triomph, the sphinx, the eiffel.  Ditto Mount Rushmore, the Louvre, the Panama Canal.  An America with a shit ton of collateral damage.  Let my strings entwine with yours lover.  Let me taste your cock, your cunt, the contours of your perineum.  I’ll puke all night in the alleys of forgotten Nebraska and be gone by dawn.  Theres a lot of splendid stupid here.  Marionettes messed up by house-cats and dogfish.

D, W & M by: Trey Parker; More W: Matt Stone & Pam Brady; More M: Harry Gregson-Williams & Kubat; P by: Bill Pope, A by: Chiodo Bros.; E by: Thomas M. Vogt; w/Matt Stone, Trey Parker, Kristen Miller, Masasa Moyo, Daran Norris, Phil Hendrie, Maurice LaMarche, Elle Russ, etc..98 min, USA, 2004

Idiocracy

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Two stars

Take this map to the city of Costco but hang onto your nards!  This is that picaresque, dick-and-balls, sci-fi, warning-cry, Eugenics cult classic comedy from 2006 that Terry Crews mines for web content every few years.  I liked the army officer very humbly attracted to the pimp lifestyle.  I liked the restaurant called Butt-fuckers. 

D & W by: Mike Judge, More W: Etan Cohen P by: Tim Suhrstedt, M by: Theodore Shapiro, E by: David Rennie, A by: Corissa Smith, Rob Perkins, Scott Macgruder, etc… w/Luke Wilson, Maya Rudolph, Dax Shepard, Justin Long, Terry Crews, Mike McCafferty, Thomas Haden Church, Scarface, etc…84 min, USA, 2006

The Interview

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One star

This is the movie North Korea didn’t want you to see.  Eminem plays himself.  There’s some gore humor.  I feel like Trump supporters might really like it.  It’s mean, dumb, disparaging, racist, and nationalistic.  I felt bad for the tiger fictionally killed to service the Seth Rogen-sticks-a-thing-up-his-ass gag.  I still have a soft spot for James Franco though.

D & W by: Evan Goldberg & Seth Rogen, More W: Dan Sterling, P by: Brandon Trost, M by: Henry Jackman, E by: Zene Baker & Evan Henke, w/James Franco, Randall Park, Seth Rogen, Diana Bang, Lizzy Caplan, James Yi, Marshall Mathers, Bill Maher, 112 min, USA, 2014

RoboCop

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Four stars

RoboJesus shoots rapists in the dick, battles irradiated mutant gangsters and giant robots in post apocalyptic Detroit.  There’s some pretty prescient satire of media and capitalism in here.  It kind of feels like the smartest Troma movie ever made.  I miss practical FX.

D by: Paul Verhoeven, W by: Edward Neumeier & Michael Miner, P by: Jost Vacano & Sol Negrin, FX: Craig Davies, Phil Tippett, Lawrence A. Aeschlimann, Dennis Pawlik, Bill Purcell, Don Baker, Randy Dutra, Rob Bottin, Erica Edell Phillips, etc…, S by: Jamie Bunch, Vickie Creach, Randy Fife, etc…, E by: Jim Rodnunsky, Danny Retz, etc…, M by: Basil Poledouris, w/Peter Weller, Nancy Allen, Ronny Cox, Kurtwood Smith, Miguel Ferrer, Robert DoQui, Paul McCrane, Ray Wise, etc…, 102 min, USA, 1987

Sweet Movie

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Four stars

Nazis exhume secret soldier corpses in the Kharkiv forest.  Gretel’s witch turns gingerbread into boat and floats down the Amstel seducing little boys.  There’s a joke about how Americans can’t tell Marx from Lenin.  There’s a lot of fucking & shitting, some stabbing.  Sweet Movie is really gross and acrid and fun.  Here’s an essay by Lorraine Mortimer.

D & W by: Dušan Makavejev, More W by: France Gallagher & Martin Malina, P by: Pierre Lhomme, E by: Yann Dedet, M by: Manos Hatzidakis, w/Carol Laure, Anna Prucnal, Pierre Clémenti, John Vernon, Roy Callender, Marpessa Dawn, Otto Muehl, Roland Topor, etc…, 98 min, Yugoslavia, 1974